The Things People Say

twin group pic (2)

Our girls…just missing our son

People warned me about the weird and wonderful comments I could get being a mum of twins but I admit I was skeptical….however, they were right.

 

It all began when I was pregnant with the twins.  “Is this your first?” they would ask and being the relatively open person that I am I would respond cheerfully “well actually its number 4 and 5.” I should’ve known that this would only instigate a range of interesting and personal questions.

I remember one conversation with a shop assistant which began just like this and ended up almost with my whole life story.  Not to say there is anything that exciting to share but after the questions such as if this was my second marriage and when I responded that it wasn’t you could see the wonder in her eyes and then the prying into why we needed IVF.  Before I knew it I was led into the trap of TMI (too much information).  Now I can’t blame the shop assistant as I was guilty of over sharing and it wasn’t the first time.

These situations didn’t bother me while the twins weren’t in tow but once they were born it was a different story.  My shopping trips consists of being stopped at least once and generally I don’t mind a bit of chit chat as people stare delightfully at the girls (except when I hear the ever repetitive “wow you’ve got your hands full”) but sometimes my trip to the shops consists of a crying baby or two.  This was one of those days…

I was quite excited about getting out of the house and doing a bit of shopping with the girls but unfortunately Miss Ivy wasn’t happy with being in her pram…I’m not referring to a bit of winging, this was all out balling as though something tragic had happen.  According to Ivy it was tragic, I wasn’t carrying her at that point of her sadness.  After numerous stares and not to mention no-one making any effort to clear the path (double prams are not that easy to maneuver around busy shopping centers) I was left with no choice but to carry Ivy while pushing Scarlett in the pram and shopping.

This was no easy feat and probably one of the few times where it would’ve been fab for any random stranger to come up and offer to give me a hand.  However, it seemed even requesting a hand carrying a few items from one of the staff members was a bit of an inconvenience.

Anyway as I was lining up at the check out there was a lovely elderly lady standing in front of me.  After looking at my girls and giving them some smiles she asks “is it a boy and a girl?” Now I don’t mean to be blunt but if they are both dressed in the same clothing, pink I might add, is it not some what obvious that they are both girls???  I know that being gender neutral is all the rage now but surely it was plain to see they were both girls…I really wanted to ask her which one she thought was the boy but didn’t have the time or patience to discuss it.

After politely responding that they are both girls she made a comment that I have heard other ‘multi’ mums complain about but this was my first experience.  She proceeded to say that she had 2 girls that were 18 months apart so it was basically like having twins.  Arggghhhhh are you kidding me woman!!  My first 2 were 13 months apart and honey it ain’t nothin’ like having twins!! (picture that with some Jerry Springer show swag).

I didn’t say any of this but it was what I was thinking.  Instead I did a little chuckle and nod and we went our separate ways.

In all fairness this lady was probably just wanting to converse with someone and felt we had common ground but when you are dealing with a mum of twins at the shops, one baby crying and the usual sleep deprivation in the mix it can be a recipe for disaster.

Rant over xxx

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Super Mum….if only

super hero

Super heroes (taken a few years ago now)

I don’t think I have ever exercised as much as I do now without even leaving the house.  I’m not referring to jumping on the treadmill or doing weights in the comfort of my own home, instead I am constantly up and down, swapping babies from one play toy to the next, changing nappies, hanging washing, cleaning the kitchen, cooking dinner not to mention being available for my older children and husband.  I’m not having a boo-hoo moment its just an observation.

Sometimes when I am in this mode of running around the house and checking things off my list I almost feel like I can do anything….that probably lasts about 2 hours before last nights lack of sleep catches up on me and the early morning hit of caffeine wears off.

Multi-parents I take my hat off to you!!  This is no easy feat, definitely not ‘a walk in the park.’  As much as I am enjoying being a mum of twins I truly cherish their nap times….when their nap times are in sync that is.  At times I feel guilty when I reminisce to the days when life was easier, when I could leave the house without packing copious amounts of nappies and when car trips were peaceful.  Sitting down to a HOT cup of coffee is somewhat of a privilege now and usually only a once a week event (which I cherish).

Popping into the shop wearing one baby on my hip isn’t an option most of the time.  Actually there really isn’t any ‘popping’ into the shops these days, it is now an all out half day event.  My little miss Ivy doesn’t always enjoy the pram which means I sometimes end up holding her whilst pushing Scarlett…try adding doing the actual shopping to this mix and its a little crazy.  In the early days going to the shops was a fearful experience for me….what if they both start crying, what will I do??  who will help me??  It was easier to stay at home most of the time until my husband got home from work and he could watch them.

It’s amazing how much I took basic freedoms for granted.

But it is starting to get a bit easier….now that they are 7 months old they are beginning to entertain themselves.  They also give me cuddles and kisses and beautiful smiles.

twins may 16

Maybe I was having a boo-hoo moment!  But its OK….. I am no Super Mum but at least I know that I am my twins hero.

Wouldn’t change being a twin mum for anything.

Forever grateful xxx

 

Love Bites

tired mum (2)Arms covered in love bites, bags under my eyes, desperately grasping at my once hot cup of coffee….this might sound like some crazy persons morning after a wild night out but for me it is life as a twin mum.

I am finally attempting to sleep both my babies in the same bedroom after holding them off for 6 months, for the sake of my own sanity.  It was 3am when little Miss Scarlett awoke and in an attempt to prevent Miss Ivy from waking I raced into the room to soothe her.  Scarlett seems to find it comforting sucking on my arms (hence the ‘love bites’) rather than sucking on a dummy.  After numerous attempts over the first 6 months of both their lives we had surrendered to the fact that they just will not take a dummy.

It wasn’t long before Ivy also wakes and then its time for team effort from both myself and my husband to get them back to sleep.  One thing I find amazing is that I tend to not even hear the babies if they wake before 5am (convenient… I know) however this morning was different unfortunately for me.  After almost an hour we cave in and bring Ivy back into our room and get Scarlett off to sleep in the babies room.

I have heard another twin mum share how at times she has hoped into the cot with one of her babies in an attempt to soothe them.  I totally get it….the cot looks ever so inviting when it’s 3am and baby won’t settle.  I was almost tempted to grab a baby blankey and crash on the floor.  Sleep is as precious as gold when you don’t have enough of it.

By 4am both babies are settled and I’m laying there solving the world’s problems.  Doesn’t my mind understand that in a couple of hours I have to be up and functional??  Let me ponder that thought for awhile….arghhhhh!!

It’s now 11am and the girls are successfully down for their nap in the same room.  I have put my mascara and eyeliner on (bringing out the big guns) in an attempt to look alive and am ready to take on the rest of the day.

Feeling tired yet fortunate. xxx

 

 

Fist Pump Moments

fist pump

In the first couple of weeks of being a twin mum my ‘fist pump’ moments consisted of brushing my teeth before 11am or getting a 20 minute cat nap during the day.  As my girls have gotten that bit older these moments have changed.

I call it ‘fist pump’ moments because when I am on a role or ‘in the zone’ and everything feels like it is falling into place I have my little imaginary ‘high five’ or even a victory dance.  Being a bit of a control freak means that having these moments brings a sense of normalcy into my already hectic life, a feeling that I’ve got this, that I am achieving something.

This morning I was up nice and early (that’s pretty much every morning), I gave the twins their bottles, changed them, did 2 loads of washing, chucked a whole lot of ingredients into the slow cooker for dinner, cleaned the kitchen and then dropped my 16 year old off at school.  I was on a role and determined to get to playgroup even if it meant upsetting the girls sleeping routine for the morning.

Getting out of the door by 9.30am with the twins is quite an achievement so I rewarded myself with a ‘maccas’ cappuccino so that I could get through the next step of going to playgroup without one of my older daughters to assist me.  Once I was there amongst the chaos, which is typical of a ‘multis’ playgroup, I was reminded that I am not alone.  Hearing stories from the other mums that I could relate to and sharing our highs and lows as well as enjoying all the antics that comes with the territory of having twins.

I lasted about an hour at playgroup before it was time to head home as to not miss the next opportunity for some ‘me’ time as the twins settled for their nap.

My ‘fist pump’ moments may not be major feats but to me they are my gold stars, my little achievements that gives me strength for the next day and the challenging moments where things aren’t all smooth sailing.

xxx

 

 

The Dark Times

hope (3)Now I’m not one to constantly dwell on the negative but lets face it as all you multi parents out there can no doubt relate to the moments where things don’t seem to be so wonderful.  Sleep deprivation has a way of making a usually smiling happy individual into a psychopathic lunatic that shouldn’t be allowed to function in society.  Add this into the mix of being a mum to twin babies and God help us all.

The early days seem to be a bit of a faded distant memory although it really wasn’t that long ago that I, along with my husband, was attempting to function on 4 hours of broken sleep.  For the first couple of months I literally couldn’t cope with going to the shops because when running just on Adrenalin the stress of people and noise was too much for my body and mind to handle.  Somehow my husband also had to work after helping out with the twins during the night.

I had many times where I would just cry after feeling a state of panic as to how I could possibly handle the babies.  It would generally hit me around early to mid afternoon as I felt my small stores of energy dwindle away and that feeling of just running on empty.  Logically I knew that this time would pass but it just seemed to be so far away and unrealistic.

This was the time that I would regularly surf the net to find any tips that may help to have the babies sleep longer and any encouragement that this stage would all be over soon. Being part of a parents of multiples playgroup and Facebook page was a dim light to me, a glimmer of hope and source of strength in the darkness that I was feeling.  I was reassured by other parents that it would pass before I know it and that things truly would get easier.

Well fast forward 6 months and I along with my twins have survived so far.  There are still the usual ups and downs but I can honestly say that the good times outweigh the hard times. Now that the twins sleep through the night I find it so much easier but still feel it in those times where their sleep routine regresses.

Although it is getting easier there are still those times where they are teething, tired, grizzly, inconsolable or just not feeling well that I struggle….I want to provide comfort and my undivided attention to them both but it’s impossible when I’m on my own.

Then there are the times where I feel like the most blessed woman in the world.  Their cute little faces, the way they notice each other and adore me…I am their world.

Relish every moment xxx